


Detached

by Valerie_Vancollie



Category: Numb3rs (TV)
Genre: Anger, Angst, Angst and Feels, Brother Feels, Brother-Brother Relationships, Brotherly Love, Brothers, Canon Compliant, Canon Era, Canon Universe, Emotional, Emotional Constipation, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotionally Repressed, Emotions, Episode Related, Episode Tag, Family, Family Drama, Family Feels, Family Issues, Father-Son Relationship, Gen, Hurt, Light Angst, LiveJournal, LiveJournal Prompt, Originally Posted on LiveJournal, POV Alan Eppes, POV Alternating, POV Charlie Eppes, POV Don Eppes, POV Male Character, POV Multiple, Pain, Parent-Child Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-22
Updated: 2019-04-22
Packaged: 2020-01-24 01:50:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,921
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18561508
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Valerie_Vancollie/pseuds/Valerie_Vancollie
Summary: Emotions, expression, detachment. The three Eppes men differ in their opinion on how they should deal with their emotions.





	1. Don: "Structural Corruption": Detached

**Author's Note:**

> This is an old fic being posted here for the first time now that I have an AO3 account. Unlike for my other fic, my original site for this fandom still exists and is [3695](https://valeriev84.livejournal.com).
> 
> **Time:** sometime Season 5  
>  **Spoilers** : _Uncertainty Principle_ , _Structural Corruption_ , _In Plain Sight_ , _Spree_ , _Two Daughters_ & _The Decoy Effect_  
>  **Note:** This fic and art were created for [moraglee](https://moraglee.livejournal.com) as part of the annual [Purim Treat-a-Thon](https://purimgifts.livejournal.com/).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To see the art I made to go with this chapter, please go [here](https://valeriev84.livejournal.com/24813.html).

' _Don't assume I'm being so irrational, you know, just because I'm not as detached as you are._ '

Don stormed out of the building, furious.

How dare Charlie say that too him?

After all that his brother had seen him do over the past few months, everything that he had put into each and every case they had worked together, everything that he had done for those victims, how dare Charlie call him _detached_? Did his brother know him so little to accuse him of that?

He was a federal agent. Don thought Charlie knew what that meant. Yes, he felt for the innocents and their families affected by crime- whether it be murder, rape, kidnapping, torture or any other of a myriad of things people did to each other. Yes, it affected him, but he was a trained federal agent; trained to investigate those crimes, trained to bring the perpetrator in for justice, trained to look beyond his own emotions.

Emotions were dangerous for someone in his line of work. Agents who let their emotions rule them made mistakes, stupid and careless mistakes, that could not only result in the loss of life, but also in the perpetrator walking free. Well, either that or being so blinded by them that he was unable to see the truth because of the illusions and delusions they painted. Was that what Charlie wanted of him? To let his emotions get in the way of a case so that he made mistakes which could result in his life and the lives of others being endangered?

Yet, despite all of that, emotions were also a vital part of any law enforcement officer. Emotions could be a driving force for an agent without blinding him or her, they could be the vital passion that led them to go the extra mile necessary to solve a case. It could be the drive that resulted in a LEO going above and beyond the call of duty if it meant bringing a perp to justice or closure to a family.

It was a hard lesson to learn, but one Don had learned well, if the hard way, as a rookie in Detroit. The mere memory of his mistake still put a bad taste in his mouth and he resisted the urge to try and spit it out, knowing it wouldn't help.

How _dare_ Charlie call him detached!

After everything he had seen and done with the FBI, surely Charlie should know better. Surely he should know his brother better than that! Don violently thrust his key into the car's lock and wretched the door open, holding it for a second before slamming it shut again, knowing he was too angry to drive just now.

Perhaps they hadn't grown nearly as close as he thought they'd done these past few months.

Him, detached. Don ground his teeth as he could still hear Charlie's words ringing in his ears. If anyone was detached, it was Charlie. Detached from reality. He was so caught up in his own little world, not able to accept that one of CalSic's students, an engineering student, could kill himself that he was grasping for each and every straw there was. Including a mere foot of distance.

So much for logic and lucid thought processes. Charlie's usually brilliant mind was being thrown by the very same thing that had caused Don's own mistake in Detroit; emotion. It was clouding his senses and warping his perception. He'd learn, but in the meantime his words were no less cutting for their ignorance.

' _Don't assume I'm being so irrational, you know, just because I'm not as detached as you are._ '


	2. Alan: "In Plain Sight": Secrets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To see the art I made to go with this chapter, please go [here](https://valeriev84.livejournal.com/24893.html).

' _Listen, Don, this is a life that you've chosen for yourself, I'd rather you not choose it for Charlie._ '

Alan's words echoed in his own mind long after Don had left. He'd changed and gotten into bed, but found that sleep, which had come so easily before, was now elusive. There'd been something about his eldest's expression right after the words had left his mouth, it hadn't registered then, but it did now.

Hurt.

It had been only the briefest of flickers, gone practically as soon as it had appeared, concealed behind Don's mask of control, but it had been there, Alan was sure of it.

Why did Don have this need to keep everything to himself? This inability to share what he was thinking and feeling with anyone else? It drove Alan nuts most of the time as he often felt that he had to actively work to get anything from him, he really didn't understand it and he knew it had baffled Margaret as well at times. Don was more like her, but even she hadn't played things as close to the chest as their eldest did.

The worst thing was that Alan knew Don didn't share or express his emotions readily and he still didn't always manage to take that into account. Tonight was merely one such example. It was just that the carefully masked expression made it easy to forget that Don was being affected much more by a situation than he let on. This made him an easy target for any frustration or anger he or Charlie themselves might be feeling. There were even times when he wondered if Don purposefully made himself a target so that they could vent their emotions.

Which naturally begged the question: who did Don vent to? Who allowed him to blow off all the feelings he bottled up inside of himself?

There was no one, as far as Alan knew and that both saddened and worried him greatly. He desperately wished that he could be the one Don came to for that, the few times where it did happen only increased his need to be Don's rock or to see him have someone who could be this essential person for him. He could deal with being needed in this capacity only occasionally as long as he knew that there was someone else to whom Don was going to. Someone else he could vent or talk to whenever necessary.

Now, however, Alan had the horrible feeling that Don _had_ been talking to him and that he just hadn't been listening for it. Margaret had always said that you needed to look at the deeper meaning when their eldest spoke, to see what he wasn't saying behind the actual word spoken aloud. If Donny had been reaching out to him tonight, then he'd dropped the ball spectacularly, tossing out the words that now kept echoing round in his head and hurting him. Trust Don to say what he meant indirectly. He should know by now that a situation like this one would be exactly the type to be greatly affecting Don.

' _Everyone gets emotional, you still got to do your job._ '


	3. Charlie: "Two Daughters": Rational-Irrational

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To see the art I made to go with this chapter, please go [here](https://valeriev84.livejournal.com/25332.html).

Charlie watched sadly as Larry left the room, dejected but also still clearly agitated. Although he felt for his friend, he was unable to comprehend his mentor's attitude. Surely Larry could see that the way he was acting was counterproductive? Getting all agitated and worked up would not help them get Megan back. Yes, what had happened was terrifying, especially in light of Hoyle's killing record so far, and it certainly didn't bode well for Megan, but losing their heads was not going to get her back. An even temper and a lucid thought process were what he needed right now.

' _Right, I'm detached, that's how I function._ '

The whisper of Don's words floated back to him out of nowhere like some ghost passing by, sending an icy shock of realization through Charlie. He froze in place as his mind processed exactly what he had said to his elder brother that day and compared it to what Larry had said not moments earlier.

' _Because I'm not as detached as you are._ '

' _Oh, I doubt that._ '

It was the exact same thing, Charlie realized. Oh the words were different, but the meaning was the same. Larry now saw him as being as detached from what was happening to Megan as he'd assumed Don had been about Finn. Larry hadn't come right out and said it like he had, but the implication was there even if Larry had handled his explanations far better than he had Don's. Larry _knew_ that he was being irrational, understood it and its implications on Charlie's work. He hadn't been so understanding for Don.

The realization of exactly how much he'd probably hurt his brother made Charlie want to rush out, find Don and apologize for what he'd said then. Even the mere shadow of the same implications from Larry just now had cut him and he could only imagine what his much harsher words had done to his older brother. Don's other words from that same conversation, however, also came back to him and made him pause.

' _No, you don't know. Look, Charlie, I'm glad you don't know._ '

If he were to bring up the subject now, he'd probably be hurting Don once more as it would mean admitting to how much his work for the FBI had affected him. Although Charlie didn't mind- he loved working together with his brother- he had a feeling Don wouldn't look at it that way. Much as he wished Don wouldn't always try and protect him so, it also never failed to warm him inside, at least once he'd cooled down from the argument that almost inevitably followed such behavior. Not that he'd ever admit it to Don as that would make him unbearable.

Now that he knew that Finn really had committed suicide, Charlie was able to see how irrationally he'd been acting despite his certainty that he wasn't and it caused him to wince. Not only was he ashamed, but it also scared him on some levels. Not because of how much Finn's death had affected him, as he felt he _should_ be affected by death, but because of how unaware of it he'd been. He'd been so _sure_ of the fact that he was maintaining a clear head, not to mention an objective view of the issue. That stung more than anything now. It was also a very painful reminder of what had happened during his mother's illness, for there too he'd deluded himself into believing something absurd and ignoring any and all attempts by others to point out not only the irrationality of his thinking, but also the very limited time he had left with his mother.

If he couldn't trust his own judgment about when he was being emotional to the point of interference, then how was he supposed to know when he was being irrational?

Don.

His brother had been there on both occasions and had tried to get him to see that he wasn't acting nearly as rational as he thought he was. Until he'd snapped at him once too often anyway, at which point he'd stormed out on both occasions. Charlie ruthlessly suppressed the guilt and focused in on the other matter. It was true, Don had been aware of his lack of objectivity and was prepared to call him out on it. Now all he had to do was learn to listen to his older brother when he said something in that same vein again instead of rejecting it out of hand.

If Don could rely on his help to solve FBI cases, surely he could rely on Don when it came to seeing how emotions were influencing people.

March 2009


End file.
